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Voiceover: "Finally, it has returned.
Digitally remastered.
With extra footage...
From the makers of...
'The Wimbledon Common Womble Massacre',
'Bill & Ben's Not So Excellent Adventure',
'Dougal Does Dallas',
Comes the most easily antiquated film of 1988.
The Critics said...
'We haven't seen it...' - Time Magazine
'Fantastic, brilliant, a work of rare genius...' - The Director
'Can we go home now?' - The Crew
'We're losing this crowd, better lock the doors.' - The Projectionist
'Don't mention I did the voiceover for this.' - Gary Files
'It will be a great disastda.' - Charles "Bud" Tingwell
'My lawyers will be in touch in the morning.' - Gerry Anderson
Winner of the prestigious 'Best Film I've Ever Made' Award
From the director of Kate and Steve's Wedding Video 1986
And Touring Wales '89
Comes this truly mind numbing experience.
Can your funny bone stand the comedy of...
Jeff Smart's
Nosey Parker is Go!
It's FAB"

Jeff Tracy: "Five, four, three, two, one."

Voiceover 2: "Nosey Parker is Go!"

Parker: "Ooh, gawd... who's this then? Hello, Parker here."

Bruno: "Hello, is that International Rescue? We need help! It will be a great disaster!"

Parker: "You what?"

Bruno: "The Sun beam will take its revenge, it will be a great disaster!"

Parker: "Yeah, hold on, hold on. What's the problem then?"

Bruno: "The hotel will burn to the ground!"

Parker: "Wait a minute, isn't that Bruno, from the hotel in Monte Bianco?"

Bruno: "Si, signor. The cook has set fire to the kitchen! We need International Rescue!"

Parker: "Sounds like you need a new cook to me."

Bruno: "Si, signor."

Parker: "Well, Bruno, I'd like to help, but they're away on their holidays in Bonga Bonga. I'm just here looking after the place for a couple of days, while they're gone."

Bruno: "Sorry, signor. What you say?"

Parker: "I said I'd like to help, but they're not here at the moment. Savvy?"

Bruno: "Si, you like to help, and you'll be here in a moment. Thank you, signor! See you soon!"

Parker: "No, wait a minute! Bruno! You've got it all wrong. Hello? Oh dear, he's rung off. Well, I suppose under the circumstances, I could go meself... Nosey Parker is Go! Oh, m'lady! Eeeelp! Oy! Slow down! Oh no! Stop! I want to get off! Uuuuuuhhhhhh..."

{Parker boards Thunderbird 2.}

Parker: "Oy! Watch it. Uh, I wonder 'ow it starts... Maybe this 'andle, here... This one, then... Well, it must be one of these... Uh, this one."

{Thunderbird 2's thrusters turn on.}

Parker: "Woah! 'Old on! Oooohhhh! Oh god! Where's the air brake? Going left! Oh no!"