This page is a transcription of The Duchess Assignment

Part One

[Scene opens to a warm night on the French Riviera. Cue Penelope in Paris theme. Title card: THE DUCHESS ASSIGNMENT appears then fades. Then cuts to the exterior of a casino. A car passes by. Cuts to casino interior. A game of roulette is currently in progress. Camera expands to show Lady Penelope and Aloysius Parker and other guests, sitting and standing respectively near the roulette pot. As the roulette ball lands in a slot, Parker lights Penelope's cigarette.]

Croupier: "Six noire. Six black."

Parker: "Beg pardon, m'lady."

Lady Penelope: "It's alright, Parker. This doesn't seem to be your night. I'm going to take over. [To croupiers:] Er, twelve red, please."

Croupier: "Messieurs-dames, fait vos jeux, place your bets please."

[Parker places more gambling chips on. The Croupier sets the pot going and the ball spinning.]

Lady Penelope: "After all, it is my money."

Parker: (miserably) "Yes, m'lady."

Croupier: "Rien ne va plus. Rien ne va plus."

Lady Penelope: "Twelve red. Twelve red. Twelve red..."

[As the ball spins around, Penelope looks over to another table to her right. There she spots Deborah, the Duchess of Royston.]

Deborah: "Oh dear, and I wanted seventeen black. That makes seven hundred and fifty thousand I've lost. Are you sure you're not mistaken?"

Second Croupier: "Positive, Madame."

Duchess of Royston: "Oh, never mind. I'll make it up this time."

Lady Penelope: "Good heavens! It's the Duchess of Royston. Why, I haven't seen her for years."

First Croupier: "Douze, rouge. Twelve, red."

Parker: "But, m'lady! It's your win!"

First Croupier: "Your winnings, madame."

Lady Penelope: "Sit in for me, Parker."

Parker: "Oh, yes, m'lady!"

Duchess of Royston: "Seventeen, black. Seventeen, black. Oh, come on, seventeen, black!"

Second Croupier: "Dix-huit, rouge. Eighteen, red."

Duchess of Royston: "Oh, dear, dear, dear! What have I done?"

Chandler: "This dame is so stupid that she can't even see that the table's been fixed."

Duchess of Royston: "Why, Penelope! What a delightful surprise. I'm doing rather badly, I fear."

Lady Penelope: "So I see. That looks like a desperate measure."

Duchess of Royston: "Well, Penelope dear, I'm a desperate woman. All I've got left now is my painting. My precious Braquasso painting. Thank goodness I left that at home, otherwise I'd be gambling it away, too, dear."

Brophy: "Braquasso. Did you hear that?"

Chandler: "Yeah. I tell you, this character's a walkover."

Lady Penelope: "But tell me, Deborah, how have you been keeping?"

Second Croupier: "Rien ne va plus."

Duchess of Royston: "Shh, dear. Seventeen, black. Seventeen, black. Seventeen, black. Seventeen, black."

Second Croupier: "Quatorze, rouge. Fourteen, red."

Duchess of Royston: "Oh, dear, Penelope! Now I've really lost everything! Everything!"

Lady Penelope: "Just a moment, monsieur. This table is fixed. Parker?"

Second Croupier: "I beg your pardon, madame, but you are mistaken."

Lady Penelope: "I saw it with my own eyes."

Parker: "Not so fast, mon ami!"

Parker: "The game's up, mon ami. And we've got witnesses to prove it."

Casino Owner: "What are you talking about? What 'game'?"

Parker: "Those tables downstairs are fixed. Don't you try to deny it."

Casino Owner: "All right then, what if they are? Can't we talk this over and come to some... understanding?"

Parker: "Er, understanding?"

Casino Owner: "But, of course! You too are human, I presume?"

Lady Penelope: "Parker?"

Parker: "In 'ere, m'lady. I'm afraid he got away, m'lady, and he took his money with him, I regret to say."

Lady Penelope: "And I'm afraid to say I lost the duchess when they threw the lights downstairs. Right, let's get after him."

Parker: "Yes, m'lady."

Casino Owner: "Quick!"

Parker: "That's him, m'lady!"

Lady Penelope: "Yes, and it looks as if he's got the croupier with him. Come on!"

Casino Owner: "They will never catch us now."

Lady Penelope: "You'd better prepare, Parker, just in case."

Parker: "Quite, m'lady."

Parker: "I can see them just ahead, m'lady."

Second Croupier: "It looks as if they are gaining on us."

Casino Owner: "Never mind. I shall be ready for them."

Parker: "Pathetic, isn't it, m'lady?"

Lady Penelope: "Quite, Parker. Now, try to get his tyres first. We may as well attempt to reason."

Parker: "It's no good, m'lady, there are too many bends in the road."

Lady Penelope: "Never mind, Parker."

Casino Owner: "C'est fantastique! This, this automobile of theirs is impenetrable."

Second Croupier: "We're nearly there."

Parker: "Well, that appears to be that, m'lady. We've lost 'em."

Lady Penelope: "Oh, dear. How tiresome. Never mind, let's go back and console the duchess. I expect we'll find her staying at The Grand."

Hotel Receptionist: "Non, madame. I am afraid that the duchess is no longer staying with us. She checked out this evening."

Lady Penelope: "Oh, I am sorry to hear that. Have you any idea how I can trace her?"

Hotel Receptionist: "Yes, madame. Royston Castle, England."

Parker: "It appears we're too late, m'lady."

Lady Penelope: "Oh, dear. Poor Deborah. So she wasn't joking after all."

Parker: "M'lady?"

Lady Penelope: "Well, when she said she'd lost everything. I wish there was something we could do to help her. I'm glad Jeff's coming over for the air display. Perhaps he'll think of something. After all, rescues are his forte."

Grandma Tracy: "Just where has that son of mine got to? I can't seem to find him anywhere."

Tin-Tin: "Well, Mrs. Tracy, the last time I saw him he was carrying that big parcel that came to him through the post today."

Grandma Tracy: "You mean the one with the Saville Row label on it?"

Tin-Tin: "Yes, that's the one. He's certainly taking his visit to the London air display seriously!"

Jeff Tracy: "The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain. Oh, bang on! Jolly good show!"

Jeff Tracy: "Oh, bang on! Jolly good show! How am I doing, Penny?"

Lady Penelope: "Oh splendidly, Jeff."

Jeff Tracy: "This is what I've been wanting to see. It's the new carrier craft."

Lady Penelope: "I say! Isn't that a bit close?"

Percy: "I say, old boy, what do you make of that? Dashed clever, what?"

Percy: "Well done! Remarkable!"

Percy's Friend: "Look, Percy. They're not finished yet."

Lady Penelope: "What are they going to do, Jeff?"

Jeff Tracy: "Just wait and see."

Jeff Tracy: "It's the pilot. I guess the other machine is gonna guide the two of them down."

Percy: "Absolutely first class. First class!"

Percy's Friend: "That's all very well, Percy, but you know, International Rescue are doing this sort of thing all the time. They ought to have them on display."

Part Two.

Lady Penelope: "Oh, Jeff, must you fly off to New York tomorrow?"

Jeff Tracy: "I'm afraid so, Penny. All good things have to come to an end. What are you gonna show me now?"

Lady Penelope: "Well, Jeff, this is an exhibition of art of the last century. You see, I promised an old friend of mine that I would come along. Poor Duchess of Royston, she's fallen on rather hard times, I'm afraid."

Jeff Tracy: "Gee, I'm sorry to hear that. What went wrong?"

Lady Penelope: "Well, she went to the South of France to try and corner the market there. But the stakes were rather against her."

Jeff Tracy: "What a shame. Anything we can do?"

Lady Penelope: "Oh, Jeff, if only there were. She's had to lend her last precious possession to the gallery to try and recoup a few of her losses. That's it over there. "Portrait of a Gazelle" by Braquasso."

Jeff Tracy: "Gazelle? "Portrait of a Gazelle"? I think I've got it, Penelope."

Lady Penelope: "What do you mean, Jeff?"

Jeff Tracy: "I know I know how we can help the duchess out of her dificulties. There's someone in New York I've just got to go and see."

Elevator Voice: "Good morning. Welcome to the Gazelle Building. Whom did you wish to see?"

Jeff Tracy: "I have an appointment with Mr Wilbur Dandridge the Third."

Elevator Voice: "Thank you. One moment, please. That is correct. You are Mr Jeff Tracy. Kindly take a seat. The voice you are listening to is the product of Gazelle Automated Secretaries. The elevator you are travelling in is manufactured by Gazelle Elevators Incorporated."

Jeff Tracy: "Thank you."

Elevator Voice: "You're welcome."

Jeff Tracy: "What?!"

Wilbur Dandridge: "Jeff Tracy! Where have you been all these years? Come on in, take a seat."

Jeff Tracy: "Thanks Dandridge. That's some elevator you've got there!"

Wilbur Dandridge: "You haven't seen anything yet! At Gazelle Enterprises we've got everything automated. Now, how about a cigarette?"

Jeff Tracy: "All right then. Thanks."

Jeff Tracy: "Thanks."

Wilbur Dandridge: "Now, er... how about a drink, Tracy? What are you gonna have?"

Jeff Tracy: "I'll have a whisky, on the rocks."

Wilbur Dandridge: "Heh, heh. No problem."

Jeff Tracy: "Here's mud in your automated eye!"

Wilbur Dandridge: "Good health, Tracy."

Wilbur Dandridge: "Oh, er... is that sun too bright for you? I can soon fix that."

Wilbur Dandridge: "Oh, darn it. I must get that blind fixed some time. Now, what was this you were telling me about a portrait of a gazelle?"

Jeff Tracy: "Well, knowing your fondness for gazelles, I thought you might be interested."

Wilbur Dandridge: "Interested? I'm fascinated! Where can I see it?"

Jeff Tracy: "Well, it just so happens I have a reproduction of it here."

Wilbur Dandridge: "Portrait of a Gazelle. Oh, it's sensational! Now look, Tracy, I've just got to have this picture. Portrait of a Gazelle.... I tell you, this could be the symbol of the whole Gazelle organisation!"

Jeff Tracy: "That was what I had figured. But you know, Dandridge, the duchess may not want to sell."

Wilbur Dandridge: "She'll sell all right. Portrait of a Gazelle. It's a gem, a perfect gem. Now, I don't know much about art, but I know what I like. And this is sensational! Do you agree, Lady Penelope?"

Lady Penelope: "Oh, yes. It's a good example of his middle period. It's an honour really, to have it inside my home."

Duchess of Royston: "Oh, Penelope dear, it's so sweet of you to look after it for me, now that the exhibition is over."

Lady Penelope: "Well, let's have tea, shall we?"

Wilbur Dandridge: "Four hundred and seventy-five thousand."

Duchess of Royston: "I beg your pardon. I don't quite understand."

Wilbur Dandridge: "Duchess - I mean, your Grace. I am offering you four hundred and seventy-five thousand pounds for the sale of the painting."

Duchess of Royston: "Sale? But my dear Mr Dandridge, I'm afraid the picture's not on the market."

Wilbur Dandridge: "Not on the market?"

Lady Penelope: "Er, thank you, Parker. Kindly pass the cucumber sandwiches to the Duchess of Royston."

Parker: "Yes, m'lady."

Wilbur Dandridge: "Now, now, Your Grace, you can't frighten me off. I know a good investment when I see one. I've set my heart on that painting, and I aim to have it."

Duchess of Royston: "Mr Dandruff...."

Wilbur Dandridge: "Dandridge."

Duchess of Royston: "I beg your pardon. I do hope I'm not casting aspersions on your business ability, but the offer you have made seems so disproportionate. Oh, cucumber sandwiches, how delicious!"

Wilbur Dandridge: "Very well, your Grace. You drive a hard bargain, but I'm willing to advance my figure. I will give you six hundred thousand pounds for the gazelle painting."

Duchess of Royston: "No, thank you, Mr Dandruff. That picture is a precious family heirloom and I couldn't bear to part with it."

Wilbur Dandridge: "Your Grace, I came all the way from the United States for that painting!"

Lady Penelope: "Well, now. Why don't we drink up our tea and try to find a good old British compromise? A solution that would make both of you happy. Now, for example, the duchess would be perfectly willing, I'm sure, to let Mr Dandridge have the painting for, say, six months on a rent basis."

Wilbur Dandridge: "Rent?!"

Duchess of Royston: "Rent?! Um, well...."

Wilbur Dandridge: "Say, that's a great idea!"

Airport Tannoy: "Will passengers on the Fireflash flight 681 to New York kindly join their hostesses in two minutes at moving walkway number three."

Duchess of Royston: "Number three. Oh, dear, dear. Do you suppose that's a lucky number, or not?"

Lady Penelope: "Now, now, Deborah, that will do! I've got a going-away present for you that'll give you luck."

Duchess of Royston: "Oh, Penelope! How sweet! What is it?"

Lady Penelope: "It's a St Christopher. Now, if you wear it, you'll have a safe journey. Parker's seeing to the loading of the painting, so you should have nothing to worry about. Mr Dandridge's chauffeur will be meeting you at the other end."

Duchess of Royston: "Oh, thank you for bearing with me, Penelope dear. I must appear sometimes like an eccentric old woman, but that painting really is precious to me, and I would feel happier if I took it over to Mr Dandridge in person."

Lady Penelope: "Of course, I understand."

Airline Hostess: "The Duchess of Royston? We're ready for you now."

Duchess of Royston: "Oh, thank you, thank you! Well, goodbye, Penelope dear."

Lady Penelope: "Goodbye, Deborah. And don't forget to wear the brooch!"

Duchess of Royston: "I won't, dear, I won't! And I mustn't forget this either. Fare thee well, dear!"

Capain Hanson: "Through the sound barrier."

Co-Pilot: "Mach 1.2, 40,000 feet."

Co-Pilot: "Mach 2.8, 2.9. Mach 3. Mach 5.3 Height, 200,000 feet."

Capain Hanson: "Level off."

Part Three.

Duchess of Royston: "So nice of Penelope to give me this. Oh! How pretty!"

Lady Penelope: "There she goes! It'll be nice to keep a check on the duchess's progress with this."

Parker: "Quite, m'lady."

Lady Penelope: "Still, I'm sure Mr Dandridge will give her a great welcome to the New World."

Wilbur Dandridge: "All right then, Hendricks, you'd better push off down to the airport. The duchess's aircraft should be coming in pretty soon."

Hendricks: "OK, Mr Dandridge."

Wilbur Dandridge: "Oh, er, Hendricks?"

Hendricks: "Yes, Mr Dandridge?"

Wilbur Dandridge: "Don't forget the cheque I made out for her."

Hendricks: "I've got it right here, Mr Dandridge."

Wilbur Dandridge: "Good. That'll show her we mean business. Just in case she's changing her mind."

Hendricks: "See you later, sir."

Chandler: "That takes care of him."

Brophy: "And that uniform of his is gonna fit me perfectly."

Chandler: "Yeah, it's gonna be a cinch to get the duchess."

Duchess of Royston: "There it is, dear. That case and that hatbox are mine, too."

Customs Officer: "OK, lady."

Brophy: "The, er, Duchess of Royston?"

Duchess of Royston: "A-ha. You must be Mr Dandridge's chauffeur."

Brophy: "That's right. Can I carry your bags? Say, is that the painting?"

Duchess of Royston: "Um, yes. But there was a certain... arrangement."

Brophy: "You mean this?"

Lady Penelope: "Well, the duchess has reached New York all right."

Parker: "Yes, m'lady. In fact 'er Grace is already moving away from the city."

Lady Penelope: "Why, Parker, you're right. I hope everything's going according to plan."

Duchess of Royston: "Is this Central Park?"

Brophy: "No, madam, we're not going to New York City."

Duchess of Royston: "And why not, pray?"

Brophy: "Because Mr Dandridge asked for you to be taken to his country house."

Lady Penelope: "I don't like it, Parker. The arrangement was for Mr Dandridge to take the Duchess to his New York office to watch the hanging of the painting. Get me Mr Dandridge on the videophone, please."

Parker: "At once, m'lady."

Duchess of Royston: "Are we there? Is this Mr Dandridge's country house?"

Brophy: "Yes, this is Mr Dandridge's country house all right."

Wilbur Dandridge: "Oh! Why, Lady Penelope, what a coincidence. I was about to contact you."

Lady Penelope: "Mr Dandridge, the plans have gone wrong. What has happened to the duchess?"

Wilbur Dandridge: "I regret to say I don't know. My chauffeur was to bring her here, but they're terribly overdue."

Lady Penelope: "Mr Dandridge, I regret to say that she must have been kidnapped."

Wilbur Dandridge: "Kidnapped? But how could that possibly...."

Lady Penelope: "Parker! Something's happened. We've been cut off."

Lady Penelope: "And the Duchess's signal has led deep into the country. She's clearly been intercepted by someone posing as Mr Dandridge's chauffeur."

Jeff Tracy: "Right, Penny, don't worry. We'll find her. Scott?"

Scott Tracy: "OK, father, I'm on my way."

Jeff Tracy: "I'll get John to trace the exact course of the Duchess's bleep signal. Then he'll contact you when you're airborne."

Scott Tracy: "FAB."

Jeff Tracy: "Virgil."

Virgil Tracy: "Father?"

Jeff Tracy: "You'd better take off in Thunderbird 2. There's no knowing what may be in store for the duchess."

Virgil Tracy: "Right, father."

Lady Penelope: "Jeff, Parker's just reported that the Duchess's signal has stopped moving."

Jeff Tracy: "So much the better. That'll make it easier for John to get a precise fix on it."

Alan Tracy: "Launching A-OK, father."

Jeff Tracy: "Right. Now we'll see how soon John can get a fix on the duchess."

John Tracy: "Thunderbirds 1 and 2 from Thunderbird 5."

Scott Tracy: "Loud and clear, John."

Virgil Tracy: "Hello, John. What's the verdict?"

John Tracy: "You'll find the Duchess at map reference alpha zeta 9, beta beta 4."

Scott Tracy: "Thanks, we're on our way."

John Tracy: "Gee, that's a lonely spot."

Brophy: "OK, lady, this is where I take a powder."

Duchess of Royston: "Oh, dear me, before you leave me here, please tell me what it is you want from me. If it's the painting you want, you can take it."

Brophy: "Don't worry, lady, we've taken it. I managed to slip it to my buddy at the airport when you were changing your currency."

Duchess of Royston: "You will never get away with this."

Brophy: "Oh, yes we will. Just like those crooks at the casino got away with your dough."

Duchess of Royston: "So that's where I've seen you: at the casino. I thought I'd seen your face before. What's that smell? It's gas!"

Brophy: "Yes, it's gas, all right. So I shouldn't go around striking matches if I were you. Otherwise, there could be a rather nasty explosion. So long!"

Duchess of Royston: "Oh, dear, oh, dear. What will become of me?"

Part Four.

Scott Tracy: "Thunderbird 5 from Thunderbird 1. What's the latest signal from the Duchess, John?"

John Tracy: "Still the same, Scott. At least, the transmitter Penelope gave her is still signalling from the same location."

Scott Tracy: "Yeah, I get your meaning. We can only hope she's still wearing the brooch and that the signal isn't leading us into a trap."

Duchess of Royston: "Oh, dear, that gas! It's leaking all over the place. Somehow I've got to get out of here. I've... I've got to get out of here."

Scott Tracy: "Father, I think I can see the place where the Duchess is transmitting from. It's a pretty solitary spot."

Scott Tracy: "Father!"

Jeff Tracy: "What's happened, Scott?"

John Tracy: "Yeah, Scott. She's still transmitting."

Scott Tracy: "Well, I'm going in to land now. I only hope there's something we can do."

Elevator Voice: "The Duchess's representative to see you, sir, with a "Portrait of a Gazelle"."

Wilbur Dandridge: "The painting? But that's impossible. Oh, yeah, I get it. All right, he can come up."

Wilbur Dandridge: "Get the police over here right away, Miss Godolphin. I think we've caught the guy who took the Duchess's painting. I'll try to keep him talking."

Miss Godolphin: "Very good, Mr Dandridge. I understand."

Chandler: "Good evening, Mr Dandridge. I represent the Duchess of Royston, and I'm here to deliver the painting to you and collect the second instalment of the payment, in cash, as was agreed."

Wilbur Dandridge: "Quite. As agreed. Erm, Miss Godolphin, would you be so good as to send in the cash payment for the Dutchess's painting?"

Miss Godolphin: "Certainly, Mr Dandridge. By the way, that other matter you mentioned is now in hand."

Wilbur Dandridge: "Thank you."

Chandler: "What other matter?"

Wilbur Dandridge: "Now, uh, can I see the painting, please? Oh, splendid. That's the "Portrait of a Gazelle" all right. And here comes your money. Miss Godolphin is so efficient."

Wilbur Dandridge: "All right, you. Put your hands up!"

Wilbur Dandridge: "Oh! Oh! The painting! Oh, the painting!"

Scott Tracy: "Virgil! I've traced the Duchess to the cellar. There's a very definite signal coming from below ground."

Scott Tracy: "Virgil, we're gonna need the Mole. We've got to get into the cellar of that place, but quick!"

Virgil Tracy: "FAB."

Scott Tracy: "OK, Virg, here's your brief: Course 079 degrees, angle 30°."

Virgil Tracy: "FAB."

Scott Tracy: "I'm gonna get the restraining outfit. When that wall goes over, the basement will never stand the weight."

Duchess of Royston: "Oh, dear... I shall never get out alive."

Scott Tracy: "How's it going, Virgil?"

Virgil Tracy: "No snags so far."

Scott Tracy: "Yeah, provided I can hold that wall."

Scott Tracy: "Hey, Virgil! Virgil, you've gotta hurry it up! That wall's gonna give away any moment."

Virgil Tracy: "Yeah. It's this soil. There seems to be a vein of solid rock down here."

Scott Tracy: "This heat... it's fantastic!"

Duchess of Royston: "What on earth is that?! Oh, dear, dear. What can this be?"

Virgil Tracy: "Quickly, this way!"

Scott Tracy: "Hey, Virgil! Hurry it up! This wall's going over any moment. And I can't sustain it any longer."

Virgil Tracy: "OK, Scott, we're on our way up now."

Scott Tracy: "This is Scott, calling the Mole. Virgil, are you all right? Scott calling base, Scott calling base."

Jeff Tracy: "Go ahead, Scott. What's the situation?"

Scott Tracy: "Virgil was on his way up with the Duchess in the Mole, but the whole building's gone over and now I can't get any reply. Either his radio's smashed, or he's in a bad way down there."

Jeff Tracy: "What about the Duchess's signal, is it still registering?"

Scott Tracy: "Yes, father, it is, but I can't tell whether it's moving or not."

Jeff Tracy: "All right, Scott. Keep standing by in case Virgil needs any help."

Scott Tracy: "Yes, father."

Jeff Tracy: "If only we could have known more in advance about the rescue conditions."

Alan Tracy: "Yeah, we could have taken the pod with all the fire-fighting gear."

Tin-Tin: "Oh, please, don't blame yourselves. If you'd waited to find out what had actually happened to the Dutchess, it would have been too late to attempt a rescue anyway."

Scott Tracy: "Father! The Mole's just broken surface again. But was he in time to save the duchess?"

Duchess of Royston: "Do you know, Penelope, the property development company backed out when the project was dropped, and the agent just could not sell my home."

Lady Penelope: "Oh, dear, how tiresome. You were rather relying on that too, weren't you, Deborah?"

Duchess of Royston: "But, Penelope, it was ideal, dear. I was able to buy back my home."

Lady Penelope: "I-I don't understand."

Duchess of Royston: "With Mr Dandridge's cheque, dear."

Lady Penelope: "Well, Deborah, I'm afraid I've got sad news about the painting."

Duchess of Royston: "Now, Penelope! You're not to depress me, dear. I've just been rescued by those romantic young men from International Rescue. And the FBI have got the man who impersonated Mr Dandridge's chauffeur. And Interpol have arrested the men who were running that crooked casino. And I'm going to be able to get back all the money I lost. So don't spoil my day, dear."

Duchess of Royston: "Why, Mr Dandridge!"

Wilbur Dandridge: "Oh, er... Your Grace I'm, er, glad to see you so well."

Duchess of Royston: "How nice of you to come all this way to see me."

Wilbur Dandridge: "The truth is, your Grace, I have some rather sad news about the Gazelle picture."

Duchess of Royston: "Indeed, Mr Dandridge?"

Wilbur Dandridge: "I'm afraid so. The brute truth is that the picture is destroyed. And it was my fault."

Duchess of Royston: "Destroyed, Mr Dandridge? Are you positive?"

Wilbur Dandridge: "I'm afraid so, your Grace."

Duchess of Royston: "Here, Penelope. Open that for me, like a good girl, would you? The truth is, that I have news for you, Mr Dandridge. This is the "Portrait of a Gazelle" by Braquasso."

Wilbur Dandridge: "Then it was a copy that I accidentally destroyed?"

Duchess of Royston: "Precisely. Now, if you will kindly oblige me with the second half of the loan payment, the picture is yours for the next six months, as agreed."

Parker: "Pardon the intrusion, but there's a glossy magazine on the videophone for your Grace. They want the rights to your life story. Is £35,000 enough?"

Duchess of Royston: "Tell them I'll take £50,000, nothing less."

Parker: "Very good, your Grace."

Duchess of Royston: "Oh, and Parker? What about the 3.30?"

Parker: "Bad news, I'm afraid. The 3.30 was won by "Desperate Intruder", a rank outsider."

Duchess of Royston: "Oh, dear. Oh, dear, what a pity. Still, I just know my luck is changing. Once I'm up and about again, Penelope, there's a little trip I want to take, dear."

Lady Penelope: "Oh, yes? And where to, Deborah?"

Duchess of Royston: "Come on! Fifteen, black! Come on! Fifteen, black!"

THE END.</center>

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